8-7-08 The door is done

I did it! I did it! I still can't believe it but I did it! It took 5 times longer than it should have and I used enough shims to level the great wall of China but I did it. Gaze upon my remodeling skills.

8-6-08 I get to build things, too!

After showing off how well gnomes can demolish things, Mr. and Mrs S asked me to try my hand at construction! I am very excited! Previously my only experience with construction was when I built a bird house back in Gnomistan...it was later condemned. Thankfully Mr. S is taking care of the design and measurement but I get to swing the hammer. I started with the new garage door. Mr. S was nice enough to tell me where it went.

7-30-08 Not getting much help here

As many of you know, I was not the first gnome to join this family. Several years ago Mr. and Mrs. S welcomed into their home two gnomes who specialized at building decks. Mr. and Mrs. S were very excited to have these helpers since their deck project was daunting. Unfortunately the gnomes were not the hard workers that they appeared. Both of the gnomes claimed they were injured and refused to do any more work. For the past few years they have been “on strike” all the while watching hours upon hours of TV.

I had hoped that their strike would be over and I could start rebuilding the reputation of gnomes as having a good work ethic. Unfortunately they are just as stubborn as ever and refuse to work. I don't know how much more of this Mr. and Mrs. S can take.

7-29-08 Let the fun begin!

Dear readers, I know that you typically visit my blog to live vicariously through my travel adventures. What you probably don't know is that I am not just “Indiana Gnome” as some of you have referred to me. I am also a very handy gnome around the house. Mr and Mrs. S have asked me to help them remodel their kitchen. At first I thought they valued my lifetime of experience exploring the architectures of the world, but in reality they were getting tired of me freeloading on all of their vacations and wanted me to earn my keep. I reluctantly agreed.

After months of planning we have finally started to tear apart the kitchen. In spite of my initial reluctance, I have actually been looking forward to this project. Many a day have I wandered into Mr. and Mrs. S's kitchen while they were at work and wanted to start tearing it apart. Alas, I held back. But now I get to show off my Gnomistany aptitude for demolition. The wall never knew what hit it!

Cruise in Review

Well I have made it back to dry land and said goodbye to Vito. It was an amazing journey and almost more than my gnomish mind could handle. I hope everyone enjoyed reading about my adventure. Here are a few more photos to tide you over until my next trip. Cheerio, mates!

A Star is Born

Oh what a night! Mr. and Mrs. S took me to dinner with them and I got to meet their fabulous dinner companions. What nice ladies! I also met the wonderful wait staff and got to star in their after-dinner parade. And then the staff serenaded me...in front of the entire three-level dining room! I felt like the king of Gnomistan! (Boy, was Vito jealous!)

5/8/08 – Vito's little problem

Now that we're on our way home, our thoughts have turned back to our lives on shore. Having gotten closer to Vito over the past few days, I consulted with Mr. and Mrs. S. We decided to invite Vito to move in with us. Much to our surprise, Vito rejected our offer immediately and ran back to the cabin. With the help of some liquid courage, Vito revealed that he is currently a wanted man in Maryland and can never return. Apparently he owes some large gentlemen hefty sums of money from a failed “business” venture. It seems that gnomes knees do not react well to baseball bats. So much for my dreams for a family reunion between Vito and my western Pennsylvania cousin Gnomer (“Hi, Gnomer!). Unfortunately, Vito must return to his day job at the Jersey parking lot.

5/7/08 – So much Bermuda, so little time!

Thought you would enjoy these photos of my second day on Bermuda. We explored the Crystal Cave, the Aquarium and Zoo, and the towns of Hamilton and St. George's.

5/7/08 – Vito and his Vixens

With Vito confined to the ship while I was away on Bermuda, he made some new friends. I had no idea that Jersey boys were so popular with the ladies. My gosh, he practically has a harem of hares!

5/7/08 - The Bermuda Triangle

Well, hello again! It's come to my attention that some of my dear readers are concerned about my well-being since I'm traveling in the Bermuda Triangle. Fear not, faithful fans, I'm as safe as a bug in a rug. Trusted authorities, including the captain of the Explorer of the Seas, assure me that flying or sailing through the triangle is no more dangerous than any other area on Earth. But if you don't believe me check out Wikipedia's article on the Bermuda Triangle--if it's on Wikipedia it must be true!

(h/t Robin for asking about the Triangle.)

P.S. h/t = hat tip

5/6/08 – Swizzled and Staggered

Today we started our adventure by taking a ferry ride to Hamilton, the capital of Bermuda. I greatly enjoyed the ride as the wind blew through my hair. After a short bus ride we arrived at the Swizzle Inn, a quaint little bar and restaurant famous for serving rum swizzles, a Bermudian favorite. After imbibing a few of the yummy cocktails, I can understand why most patrons stagger out.

5/6/08 – BERMUDA!!!!

I am completely overwhelmed! Mr. and Mrs. S have managed to keep our destination a secret for two days but they finally let the cat out of the bag. I have never visited Bermuda before but it has always been a lifelong dream of mine. When I told Vito of our destination, he seemed a bit despondent. Apparently Vito has had some legal problems in Bermuda in the past and he is considered a “gnome non grata” in the country. Sadly he is going to have to stay on board.

5/5/08 – Our first cabin guest

Upon returning from dinner tonight, Mr. & Mrs. S, Vito, and I found our first fuzzy room companion—a giant rabbit! Being the worldly traveler that I am, I was not surprised by this development. Vito, on the other hand, was initially terrified but he soon came around to see their advantages. For example, they make for great transportation around the ship.

5/4/08 - Long lost relative

On our travels to the port we made a quick pit stop along they way. Since we are driving to the port with Mr. S's parents, we are dropping off one of our automobiles at Mr. S's Aunt and Uncle's house. Apparently the fee to park in this part of town is quite steep! In fact they insisted in lieu of money that Mr. S must solve some of their ongoing computer issues. I have never heard of this type of barter system in Gnomistan but I do like it indeed. Finally my degree in computer science from GIT (Gnomistan Institute of Technology) will be of some use!

The surprises did not stop there! While Mr S was haggling with the proprietor of this parking lot, I made a SHOCKING discovery. Out from the parking garage came my long lost cousin Vito from Jersey! I have not set eyes upon him from many years. My, the cold Jersey nights have not been kind to him. He seems to have shrunk several inches since I have seen him last and his skin looks all rubbery. He is also much more gruff than I remember and he seems to have a vacant look in his eyes. With a little arm twisting, I was able to talk him into coming on our journey. It seems anything is better than working at the parking lot in New Jersey.

5/4/08 - Off to an undisclosed location...

Welcome back, loyal readers! I am off on another adventure but my destination is unknown. Mr. and and Mrs. S are taking me on a trip with them to celebrate my one year anniversary in this country but they want the location to be a surprise. All they will tell me is that we are all going on a cruise. Oh my, my Gnome mind is a-racing with all of the possibilities! I do hope I packed appropriately!