6-16-09 You've come a long way, baby

It is hard to believe that three days ago at this time I was coaching Mrs S. through her delivery. Just thinking back to that moment brings a quiver of joy to my normally stoic face.

Serena is doing wonderfully thanks to the wonderful care given to her by Mr. and Mrs. S and the staff at the hospital. She is healthy, happy, and has one of the strongest set of lungs on her I have seen since the Gnomistani underwater bagpipe festival of 1997. It is truly amazing that someone so small can produce a noise so loud and piercing that it would shatter wine glasses a mile away. Serena also likes to look up and stare into your eyes when she is being held. Mr. and Mrs. S throught this was absolutely adorable. I, on the other hand, took it is as a challenge for a good old fashion Gnome-staring contest. Gnomes are known around the world as one of the world leaders in the art of the staring contest. The only ones better at staring contests in the world are the gargoils. They were so good infact that they were officially banned from international competion a few years back. Now Gnomes are very good at staring contests but I met my match with Serena. A mere 30 seconds into our contest and her big eyes melted my resolve and I crumbled. She has bested me this time, but, as a famous California governer once said, "I'll be back."

Enough about me. You have come here to read about Serena, not my staring shortfalls.

Serena met her other set of grandparents today for the first time. Mr. S's parents came down from New Jersey. They were so excited to meet her for the first time. I think we are going to have a hard time keeping Mr. S's mom from snatching up Serena and not wanting to give her back!

Here are some pictures from the past couple of days.

Isn't she cute when she sleeps...when she sleeps

A very happy mommy

A great daddy

And now the grandparents!
Pop pop

Nana

Grandma

Grandpa.....He's shy

6-13-09 What a perfect baby

I would like to formally announce the birth of Mr. and Mrs. S beautiful baby girl, Serena Nicole, at 4:27 am on June 13th. I have had numerous people asking me to post some of the babies stats, like weight, length, etc. I dug out my copy of the official Gnomistani birth registry spreadsheet and filled out the values appropriately. These may differ slightly from what you are used to in America but I will make any additions/correction you would like.

Name: Serena Nicole
Gender: Female
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class : Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo Sapiens
Time of birth: 4:27am, June 13th
Age: 0
Length: 0.0025883838383914995 Furlongs
Diameter: n/a (baby was not born cylindrical)
Weight (on Jupiter): 19 lbs 5oz
Energy: 3.04612734 x 1016 Joules (assuming 100% mass to energy conversion)
Witch evaluation: Negative. Baby did not weight the same as a duck and therefor was not made of wood
Top speed: n/a baby would not complete the required speed course
Occupation: Diaper tester

As more information becomes available I will pass it along.

Now for a few snapshots to pass along.

What a cute baby!

Even cuter !

The happy mother

and father.

6-13-09 12:00am The future grandparents

One of my jobs in assisting the delivery is talking to the loved ones and answering any questions they have. Mrs. S's parents arrived a few hours ago from Pennsylvania. We had a lovely chat about everything from the weather to this strange sport you Americans play called hockey. Apparently the local team called "The Penns" were battling a group called "The Redwings". This savage yet graceful competition ended with a victory for the Penns. Mrs. S said " The burg is now the city of champs, n'at" I think Steely-Eye Gnomanski is starting to rub off on her.

Anyway, another update. Mrs. S is at 10 cm and all looks good. Probably won't go past 2am

10pm ... nothing new to report

8cm dilated and the contractions are 2-3 minutes apart.

6-12-09 7pm All is well

Under my expert guidance I helped with the epidural thus relieving Mrs. S's pain. I do think that your American medicine is amazing. Back in Gnomistan we just give the mother a shot of Gnomistani wiskeyand a leather strap to bite down on.

6-12-09 Well......It's Time!

6-12-09 Well......It's Time!
The day is upon us, Mrs. S is in labor. The three of us are at the hospital and everything is progressing normally.

I was able to find a nice pair of scrubs that fit.

Mrs. S is doing wonderfully...under my expert supervision.

5-20-09 Now that is one powerful flash!

Since I am now allowed to post information about the new upcoming bundle of joy, I have some catching up to do. As I mentioned in my last post, I am a trained professional baby care specialist. Part of my training was in helping to determine the health of an unborn baby gnome. Back in Gnomistan, our hospitals were not as technologically advanced as your American hospitals. We didn't have fancy ultrasound machines like you do. Instead we used a specialized machine called a “Peek-a-boo 3000xsi”. This machine may sound incredibly advanced, but it works on a very simple concept that has evolved over many years. First, the expectant mother stands in front of the doctor who would stare intently at her belly. Next, a group of between 20 to 30 gnomes, depending on the size of the mother, would stand behind the mother holding camera flashes. In unison, all of the assistants would fire their flashes shining the light straight through the mother. For a split second the doctor would be able to see the baby while still inside the mother. This test is very useful to the doctor but can be very traumatic to the baby. As a rule, gnomes are very shy about their bodies and are horrified of the thought of having their picture taken when they aren't looking their best. Having this test done, while medically necessary, can cause a life-long fear of camera flashes. To this day, gnomes will often run away screaming when they see a camera and is why they never...ever...go to raves.

Now back to the upcoming baby. Mrs. S gave me permission to post a few of her ultrasound scans of her new baby. You have to use your imagination to see the baby in some of the shots but they are pretty cool none the less. Enjoy!

November 2008


January 2009


April 2009

5-15-09 Where did Nittany go?

Many of my readers have wondered, “Where has Nittany gone?” First, I would like to quell some rumors that have been circulating on the Interweb.

1.I have not been abducted.
2.I was not deported back to Gnomistan.
3.I did not lose all my money betting on the Kentucky Derby and have to find work as a lawn ornament. (How degrading!).
4.I did not become trapped under the tile floor of the kitchen
5.My cousin Veto did not convince me to join him in his recent, ummmmm, let's call them “wealth redistribution activities. ”

No, the truth is much more exciting! I am going to become an Uncle! Well, more of an honorary Uncle. You see, Mrs. S is pregnant! I couldn't believe my ears! Back in Gnomistan, I was part of a large family. I have eight siblings, all girls, and I loved them all, except one (you know who you are). I love children. One of my many, many jobs was as a professional baby care specialist. I am certified in diaper changing, rattle rattling, and am fluent in four dialects of baby gibberish. I also am fully versed in the literary works of Dr. Seuss and I was on the short list to become one of the Teletubbies.

With the baby on the way, I focused all of my efforts on getting ready for the joyous event. It will be up to Mr. S to finish the kitchen. I have found him to be a very competent apprentice so I think he will do fine on his own. I have told Mr. S to get cracking and post a few updated pictures so hopefully he will.