Sunday, December 14, 2008

12-14-08 I make this look gooooood

Once the mailman came down from the tree, and after I apologized profusely, I received the package sent by Mr. S's mother. Christmas had come early! I was incredibly excited as I ripped open the package and tore off the wrapping paper. I was taken aback! I had never seen anything so beautiful! I immediately tried it on and haven't taken it off since. The three bulbs on the collar twinkle just like my eyes do!

12-13-08 I just cannot condone this behavior

Wow...just, wow. I hereby denounce all the gnomes that participated in this shameless stunt.

http://weirdnews.about.com/od/weirdphotos/ig/Nazi-Garden-Gnomes/

12-12-08 Neither rain, nor snow, nor hidden gnome

I hereby apologize to all our brave mail carriers who face all manner of danger while religiously delivering our credit card offers and Harbor Freight catalogs. Let me explain. Mr. S's mother told me to “watch the mail.” It seems this doesn't mean the same thing as it does in Gnomistan. Back in my homeland, when someone tells you to “watch the mail,” it is a signal that someone plans to play a practical joke on you. Gnomes are natural practical jokers but we often limit ourselves to fooling with our target's mailbox. I decided to hide out in our mailbox to surprise the would be practical joker. When the mailman opened the mailbox, I jumped out, pinched his nose, and screamed “got you!”. Terrified, the mail carrier jumped back screaming and ran as fast as he could down the street. They found him six hours later, 15 feet up a tree whimpering to himself “I see little blue men.”

12-9-08 Just a little update

Here is a quick update to all my loyal readers...all three of you. All of the ceiling insulation is complete. About 95% of the wall insulation is complete. 90% of the wiring and plumbing are complete. Most of the laundry room is framed in including the pocket door. Now that I have seen and installed the pocket door, I understand more about them. When Mr. S first told me I would be installing a pocket door, I had no idea what he was talking about. He tried and tried to explain it me but I just couldn't grasp what he meant. I kept visualizing a door that was the size of pocket. Even if the pocket was large, say from an XXL Penn State sweatshirt, I just couldn't see how this would be useful to anyone but a gnome child. Now that I see that it's a full-size door, it all makes sense.

12-6-08 Safety second...achoo...I mean first.

Always be safe while working. Wear safety glasses, a dust mask, and always be aware of your surroundings. And most importantly, if you are working up high, wear a safety harness. I'm thankful I remembered mine today. I was installing the pocket door track when I started sneezing. My sneezes tend to be rather forceful and I fell off the door header. If it hadn't been for my safety line, I would have cracked my head open! I got to contemplate how lucky I was all night as Mr. and Mrs. S had already gone to bed and didn't find me until morning.

12-3-08 This is my nail gun. There are many like it but this one is mine.

To help in framing in the new laundry room, Mr. S bought a framing nail gun. I had never used a nail gun like this and was eager to give it a try. This should really speed up my work greatly. Framing has always been a tough profession for gnomes. If you haven't noticed, we have very short arms. It's hard to drive a nail when you can hardly swing a hammer. Back in Gnomistan, it is uncommon for houses to be held together with nails. Typically we use a glue made from a mixture of flour and water with strips of newspaper as reinforcement. It works surprisingly well, unless it rains.

My first attempt using the nail gun was not promising. I got the gun lined up, pulled the trigger...and then I blacked out. I came to a few seconds later all the way across the room lying on a pile of insulation. Mr. S was laughing hysterically. He said that when I pulled the trigger, the recoil sent me flying across the room! Thankfully the only thing that was hurt was my pride. I tried again, this time putting all my weight behind it. It still threw me but only half way across the room. At least this time the nail went in and the stud held in place. No matter how disturbing it is to be thrown across the room...it still beats hammering.

11-28-08 When the foreman is away, the Gnomes shall play

While Mr. and Mrs. S were up in New Jersey (random thought, where is Old Jersey and why did we need a new one?), I was left at home to continue work on the kitchen. I had grand plans of finishing all of the insulation, electrical, and framing. Unfortunately, my plans never got very far. I had planned on getting a good night sleep and then working all day but that was not to be. I decided to watch a little TV during breakfast and discovered the most fascinating show. I believe it is called Law and Order.
I was only going to watch one episode and then get started working but then another episode came on. And then another...and another...and another. Before I knew what had happened, it was Friday afternoon. To my horror, Mr. and Mrs. S came home early. They found me in the living room with the remote in one hand and an empty bag of Oreos in the other--and a glazed look in my eyes. I have learned that not only is Law and Order an addictive show to watch but it seems to be on TV ALL THE TIME!

11-27-08 Happy Thanksgiving!

I would like to wish all of my readers a happy Thanksgiving.