My good readers, are you aware that there is a widespread air shortage in this country? I was completely ignorant about this problem. I watch all the major news channels, read the Washington Post, and on occasion, visit an Oracle but I never heard a single mention of this national crisis. When we arrived in Denver I was feeling a tired and a little light headed. I assumed that I was just a bit jet lagged. When I awoke this morning I had a splitting headache and no energy. I immediately thought I had contracted a case of Gnomistani yelping sickness but since I did not have a swollen tongue, bloodshot eyes, and I wasn't suddenly reciting Shakespeare in Esperanto I dismissed that diagnosis. Kim said that it was the altitude that was making me feel this way and it was normal. Now, my good friends, when I was a lad I spent several months as a mountain tour guide in the mountains around my village. I know about working at high altitudes. I would climb the mountains several times a week and some times stay up there for days at a time. With the exception of the time I got into a drinking contest with the Swiss National Curling team I have never felt this bad.
The only logical conclusion I can draw is that, for some unknown reason, the area around Denver has lost a significant amount of air. I propose that this nation dedicate a significant portion of the national budget to building a wall around Denver to prevent more air from leaking out. If we do not control this problem soon not only will this area be without air but the entire local kite industry will go bankrupt.
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