3-17-2010 What a long strange trip its been.

Greetings my loyal fans! You must be loyal fans as I have not posted an update in months and you still visit my site. Many of you have asked “ Where is Nittany?”, “Is Nittany OK?”, “Was Nittany kidnapped by members of the Trollistan mafia and forced to work in the salt mines of northern Trollistan badlands until his debt to the feared mafia boss 'Guido the vague' was paid off?” To answer everyone's questions....I am here, I am fine, and the less you know about my dealings with Guido the better.

When you last heard from me I was announcing the birth of Mr. and Mrs. S's baby girl Serena. I am happy to report that Serena is doing wonderfully. She is now 9 months old and growing faster than a weed. Well an American weed, not the Gnomistani weed. Gnomistani weeds tend to grow faster than your American counterparts due to our fertile soil, clean air, and an unfortunate industrial accident that released a large quantity of steroids into the watershed causing the local plant life to grow at unthinkable rates. One plant species became sentient and has even won three seats on the Gnomistani parliament. Predictably they are anti herbicide.

So you may be wondering what I have been doing over the past nine months. Well for the first three months I was fulfilling my role as a professional child care specialist. It started off well enough, Serena was very much like a Gnome baby. She slept often, cried randomly, and did not all the words to Frank Sinatra's song “Mack the Knife”. Then the fun began. First, let me say that Serena is a wonderful child. I would not want to help raise any child but her. Now that I have said that I must confess that Serena did do one thing that I was not prepared for. When she became upset she emitted a sound at such a high intensity that some of my relatives back in Gnomistan have reported hearing it. And it's not just a single cry. She has been known to scream for no reason for hours on end, only to stop just as quickly and fall asleep. I wasn't able to sleep for over two weeks! It is well known that Gnomes need their beauty sleep. Wars have even been started because the Gnomistani Prime Minister didn't get enough sleep and was cranky. Thankfully the crying didn't last very long and as quickly as it started, it was gone.

I realized that Mr. and Mrs. had a good handle on parenting so with their blessing I took a vacation. I had planned on only being away for two weeks but my adventure lasted nearly five months. I promise to tell you all about my adventure in the future but right now I cannot. I am bound by a gag order, three cease and desist notices, and , for reasons I will NOT reveal, a bench warrant in Omaha.