5-20-09 Now that is one powerful flash!

Since I am now allowed to post information about the new upcoming bundle of joy, I have some catching up to do. As I mentioned in my last post, I am a trained professional baby care specialist. Part of my training was in helping to determine the health of an unborn baby gnome. Back in Gnomistan, our hospitals were not as technologically advanced as your American hospitals. We didn't have fancy ultrasound machines like you do. Instead we used a specialized machine called a “Peek-a-boo 3000xsi”. This machine may sound incredibly advanced, but it works on a very simple concept that has evolved over many years. First, the expectant mother stands in front of the doctor who would stare intently at her belly. Next, a group of between 20 to 30 gnomes, depending on the size of the mother, would stand behind the mother holding camera flashes. In unison, all of the assistants would fire their flashes shining the light straight through the mother. For a split second the doctor would be able to see the baby while still inside the mother. This test is very useful to the doctor but can be very traumatic to the baby. As a rule, gnomes are very shy about their bodies and are horrified of the thought of having their picture taken when they aren't looking their best. Having this test done, while medically necessary, can cause a life-long fear of camera flashes. To this day, gnomes will often run away screaming when they see a camera and is why they never...ever...go to raves.

Now back to the upcoming baby. Mrs. S gave me permission to post a few of her ultrasound scans of her new baby. You have to use your imagination to see the baby in some of the shots but they are pretty cool none the less. Enjoy!

November 2008


January 2009


April 2009

5-15-09 Where did Nittany go?

Many of my readers have wondered, “Where has Nittany gone?” First, I would like to quell some rumors that have been circulating on the Interweb.

1.I have not been abducted.
2.I was not deported back to Gnomistan.
3.I did not lose all my money betting on the Kentucky Derby and have to find work as a lawn ornament. (How degrading!).
4.I did not become trapped under the tile floor of the kitchen
5.My cousin Veto did not convince me to join him in his recent, ummmmm, let's call them “wealth redistribution activities. ”

No, the truth is much more exciting! I am going to become an Uncle! Well, more of an honorary Uncle. You see, Mrs. S is pregnant! I couldn't believe my ears! Back in Gnomistan, I was part of a large family. I have eight siblings, all girls, and I loved them all, except one (you know who you are). I love children. One of my many, many jobs was as a professional baby care specialist. I am certified in diaper changing, rattle rattling, and am fluent in four dialects of baby gibberish. I also am fully versed in the literary works of Dr. Seuss and I was on the short list to become one of the Teletubbies.

With the baby on the way, I focused all of my efforts on getting ready for the joyous event. It will be up to Mr. S to finish the kitchen. I have found him to be a very competent apprentice so I think he will do fine on his own. I have told Mr. S to get cracking and post a few updated pictures so hopefully he will.